I’m a sucker for cool, trendy bags, always looking for new ways and features to carry around my personal technology and current reading material. Messenger bags, shoulder bags, day bags—I’ve tried them all. Katie says now I should get rid of two of them for every one I acquire.
I recently purchased a bag from Hong Kong, and I’m not sure how American manufacturers can compete. A bag that might easily cost two or three times as much here was only 26 dollars, including free shipping by air freight.
I would tell you all its features as described on the tag, but they are in Chinese. The actual words on the bag, however, are in English. Sort of. Here is that it says on the leather patch:
D/E/A/R
KAUKKO
Simple Casual
Comfortable & Freestyle
Nature….Deep Respiration
(Daily Life)
Western U.S. Cattle Subpackages
Free Person at Time
I’m not sure what they were going for; perhaps a cross between the rugged cowboy and yoga practicing hipster. Some people might not want one because of the mangled English, but I find it kind of endearing. In fact I might start twitting this stuff.
Even the company name, BangGood, has this flavor. It’s like I get to carry around the English translation of a Chinese lifestyle manual, one that is “comfortable and freestyle.”
So take a deep breathe and free one person at a time.
And let me know if you want one of my boring old bags.
[Comment: What is your experience with Chinglish? Or other foreign marketing efforts aimed at American consumers?]
the daysman 
The excessive amounts of journals and t-shirts I found reading something like:
“the day you left my breathing stopped and…
My soul lifts.
Unicorn.”
I also met a man who named himself “Beer” and a girl who unwittingly named herself “Lucifer”.
I love all mushings up of the English language. And I love new bags. I love bags full of mushed up English.
The top of the tag says “Product Bag Proof of Purchase” essentially. The picture is hard to make out a lot of the characters but it looks like how to take care of the bag, like basic washing insructions.
My guess is that the bag is marketed towards HKers or Chinese people, not to AMericans. Basically English gets slapped onto anything and everything here. It is kind of hilarious, from seeing raunchy tshirts on old women, to men wearing Playboy jackets while holding their grandchild, to just absolute gibberish.
I saw a shirt the other day that I tried to find on TaoBao (kinda like ebay of China) that I saw someone wearing that said “SUCK LESS TO SUCCESS”, but really the bad translations are neverending.
My dear friend and messenger bag met its great reward today. As the strap irreparably pulled away from the body of the bag, it dropped to the ground as if in slow-motion. The thud was not unlike that of a lifeless body meeting the earth. Baggie’s jaunty swing on my shoulder ending in a dormant heap of leather, files and way too many promotional pens.
We had 10 good years together. I felt badly poking holes in him to insert my big, banner hanging zip-ties that will constitute the temporary fix. He deserves better.
Fortunately, I faithfully read the daysman and knew where to seek a new companion. For under $25.00 (free shipping) my new friend is on his way. I look forward to my unintelligible tag.
It’s not a replacement. It’s my BangGood addition. I hope I’ll be happy. I know I’ll be free.
I hope our bags meet someday and have a cup of coffee while talking about their humble beginnings.