looking for love in all the wrong places


“but speak the truth in love, that you might grow up…” Eph 4:15

Apparently there’s a new way for college guys to meet a girl. Or another guy, for that matter.

Goodcrush.com will let you find out if she (or he) likes you without all the embarrassing trauma of asking. They can let you know without letting you know, too. Finally hope for shy lovers everywhere.

It works two ways. Crushfinder lets you put in five names of people you like and if any of them put in your name too then you get an email. Congratulations! You’re a winner, even if you are a loser.

You can also use the Missed Connections feature to send anonymous, photo-less messages back and forth until you figure out who the other person is and agree to meet. Like this: saw you on your computer by astor place wearing a princeton t shirt on thurs.

And so the game begins. It’s You Got Mail for social media, a cross between Facebook and Match.com.

Like the original Facebook, you have to have a college email to play. About 20 universities are in the network, with requests from 80 more. It’s so hot it’s already a verb, as in “I’m going to goodcrush her before I ask her out.”

Cowards. Why can’t they do it like we did when we were in college and even junior high: ask her friend to ask her if she likes you.

And whatever happened to the humiliation? It was always a vital part of the process. Sure, it kept nerds from asking out the prom queen. But it also forced you to take your time, think of something intelligent to say (maybe) and face the consequences of your choices.

Advocates of goodcrush say it will encourage more traditional dating instead of hooking up, forcing students to take more risks and moving the initial steps out of the bar.

Well, it’s a pretty low bar. It will still lead to one night stands and virtual stalking. It’s already turned into singles ads: one current post asks, “anyone up for a casual one night stand?” If you want an idea where it’s going, all you have to do is read the tagline: connecting student bodies like never before.

Speaking the truth in love is a higher bar. It tests our motives as well as our message. It creates a world where people don’t break up by text messaging and don’t find each other after they each left Starbucks and went somewhere else.

Choices do have consequences. Connections do too. But growing up requires a little courage.

And a lot of responsibility.

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About wally metts

Wally Metts is the daysman. He is director of graduate studies in communication at Spring Arbor University and is a pastor at Countryside Bible Church in Jonesville, MI. The father of four adult children, he and his wife Katie raise barn cats and Christmas trees in Michigan. His grandchildren call him Santa.

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