Weight, weight! Don’t tell me…

One of the things I want to do this year is lose weight. Thatís one of those things I want to do every year, but donít. So the question is, what is the trigger that will make it happen?

Dadís heart attack wasnít it, since I think Iíve gained weight since then. Actually, my blood sugar is more of a motivator. Iím one of those people who believe type 2 diabetes can be managed with diet and exercise. I did it once.

The problem is I respond to stress by eating. Not a sit down and gorge myself kind of eating, but a constantly grazing kind of eating. And a kind of donít notice how much Iím eating kind of eating.

Diets donít really appeal to me, but last Monday I did start to count calories again. 1800 a day. Ok, except for the two days I ate 2500. Whatís a cookie here or there?

Except for those two days, Iíve been mostly goodóincluding exercise. I was only going to weigh myself once a week, but I sneaked a peak over the weekend and it is not encouraging. Why canít you cheat and lose weight too? Why canít five good days count more than two bad ones?

I am taking some products that are supposed to help curb your appetite, but Iím not sure that is the problem. Iím not hungry. I just want to eat. And I donít have the focus I need to change my lifestyle. Or the energy. In fact, I donít want to change my lifestyle. I just want to change my life.

Or, put another way, I donít want to lose weight.

I just donít want to weigh as much.

Tonight Iíll see what difference one week can make. And next Monday Iíll see what difference two can make. And after a month or so Iíll see if it matters at all.

By then Iíll be fifty.

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