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tips for the toast

Katie and I attend several weddings a year and sometimes the wedding toasts are painful. It makes you wish there were auditions. Or an age limit—I’m thinking 35. I can’t imagine life as a wedding photographer, listening to shallow people talking about themselves every weekend.

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in praise of (good)wives

I’m blessed to have a helpmate who helps. The Puritans referred to their wives as goodwives. Pretty wise, those Puritans, to see a wife as a blessing, a literal gift from the giver of every good and perfect thing.

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a mystery profound

Cherish this woman. She is for you, all fair, more lovely than you know, stronger than you expect, more forgiving than you deserve.

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marriage as transformation

We cherish and nurture our own body—yet in marriage we become one flesh. We take care of ourselves. We look out for ourselves. And in marriage men learn better than anywhere else to love someone else, to look after her interests, to be thoughtful and careful and kind.

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the end of a love affair

Marriage is a covenant, not a compromise between drapes and blinds, or white walls and eggplant colored throws. It is not about the art; it’s about the heart.

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loafing as a virtue

The “miraculous in the common” here is that no effort or words were needed to know we were deeply blessed and greatly loved.

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on covenant making

A covenant is more than a contract. It does not protect our interests, as a contract does. It surrenders them. You come here to surrender yourself to the interests of each other, and you do this by making an oath. There is no mingling of blood, but a mingling of purpose as God himself makes you one flesh.

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the work of a lifetime

There are two extremes to be avoided. Don’t be an abusive and aggressive husband who says no for the sake of saying no. And don’t be a disengaged, passive husband who can’t say no at all.

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Covenant-keeping, sanctifying love

The covenant you make is sacred and permanent. It is approached with reverence and sealed with blood. There is no backing out or giving up. You will swear before these witness to cherish each other until our Lord comes or until death alone shall part you.

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a blessing on your head

What I have seen is that you cherish this woman. What I have seen is that you are willing to point her toward Christ and his Word. What I have seen is that your love is sacrificial and stable. I’m confident you are ready to do this, and do it well.

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